You wouldve liked the shoes i bought today, and the chair and the ottoman

yeah, i finally got one

a small one and styled it how i told you about

You would’ve said the shoes looked good with my eyes and i would’ve said i couldn’t wait to wear them on the next Friday night date

You would be impressed with my decor skills, to see where i put the chair. Im writing this in it right now because it’s the only spot i have in this apartment you didn’t touch

Maybe thats why i got it- nothing else in this so called home feels as warm as it did when you were in it

I’ve picked up praying, yeah i know

this feeling, this ache, this pain has brought me to my knees.

fuck

I hate this foolish and desperate feeling. I detest myself for feeling it.

How dare you.

….

truly, i don’t know what i’m praying for anymore

….

AND GOD FUCKING DAMNIT I WANT MY ANIMAL CROSSING WORLD BACK I WORKED SO HARD

i hate you.

i dont hate you

now i have to save money for my own switch but playing it will just make me sad, like baking makes me sad, like airplanes make me sad, like thrifting makes me sad, like everything i let you touch in my soul makes me sad

i cant wipe your fingerprints off, i cant get you off of me

i cant breathe.

i need to breathe.

“maybe in a few months we can be friends”

i don’t want to sit second row in your life and watch you love someone the way i wish you loved me. I want you, i still want you and im terrified its going to be you for me. fuck you.

i hope you dont regret your choice. and in 10 years from now i truly hope it was the right one. that is the only thing that gives me solace.